Washed It!

The research shows men who spend even a few minutes in the company of an attractive woman perform less well in tests designed to measure brain function than those who chat to someone they do not find attractive.

Researchers who carried out the study, published in the Journal of Experimental and Social Psychology, think the reason may be that men use up so much of their brain function or ‘cognitive resources’ trying to impress beautiful women, they have little left for other tasks.

The findings have implications for the performance of men who flirt with women in the workplace, or even exam results in mixed-sex schools.

Women, however, were not affected by chatting to a handsome man.

This may be simply because men are programmed by evolution to think more about mating opportunities.

Psychologists at Radboud University in The Netherlands carried out the study after one of them was so struck on impressing an attractive woman he had never met before, that he could not remember his address when she asked him where he lived.

Researchers said it was as if he was so keen to make an impression he ‘temporarily absorbed most of his cognitive resources.’

To see if other men were affected in the same way, they recruited 40 male heterosexual students.

Each one performed a standard memory test where they had to observe a stream of letters and say, as fast as possible, if each one was the same as the one before last.

The volunteers then spent seven minutes chatting to male or female members of the research team before repeating the test.

The results showed men were slower and less accurate after trying to impress the women. The more they fancied them, the worse their score.

But when the task was repeated with a group of female volunteers, they did not get the same results. Memory scores stayed the same, whether they had chatted to a man or a woman.

In a report on their findings the researchers said: ‘We conclude men’s cognitive functioning may temporarily decline after an interaction with an attractive woman.’

Psychologist Dr George Fieldman, a member of the British Psychological Society, said the findings reflect the fact that men are programmed to think about ways to pass on their genes.

‘When a man meets a pretty woman, he is what we call ‘reproductively focused’.

‘But a woman also looks for signs of other attributes, such as wealth, youth and kindness. Just the look of the man would be unlikely to have the same effect.’

Experts agree that at least fifty five percent of communication is through body language alone. Be aware though that women give off more messages through body language than men, but can read men much better. Be conscious of your own body language when talking to her as she may be seeing more than you think. This is something that is worth training yourself out of if you intend on playing the game for a while. It would give you the advantage if she is kept guessing.

Women, especially those who don’t really know what they want from one minute to the next can give off mixed signals. An older, more self aware woman will be far more informative in her body language. She may even use it to her own advantage!

The most common way women use to flirt using their body is to preen. Playing with her hair, tossing it or sliding it away from her eyes or face or checking her nails. A favourite trick is to do something with lipstick. The image of lips does something to a man, and women know it.

A slow crossing or uncrossing of legs is a classic flirt gesture. Any adjustment of clothing in a opening or loosening movement is a sign of definite interest. Just try not to stare too obviously!

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If chatting to a woman over drinks, stroking a glass, teasing condensation or ice is a sign she is also teasing you. This is a message that she may have plans for you if you are a good boy! If you don’t do it naturally (which you probably will) open your legs slightly as if unconsciously, this is the return signal for ‘bring it on’.

Mirroring is a classic body language tool to gain intimacy between you. The theory is that people like people like themselves. Therefore mirroring advertises that you may be just like her. Be careful with your timing though. If she leans forward, pause before you do the same. Keep the timings random and it won’t look like you’re doing it on purpose.

Check where she is pointing. for some reason we point to people we like. Don’t just look at her hands though because chances are she will have them under control. Look at the feet and legs. If they are pointing in your direction, then you may be in with a chance.

Blinking is for the ‘body language adept’ among you. We unconsciously blink more when we like someone and the size of our pupils increase. You can increase the effect you are having by speeding up your blink rate slightly. If she matches the increased pace then she likes you.

Body language is one of the most effective ways of communicating your intentions and feelings in a non verbal, therefore, non-confrontational way. This gives you the edge and saves embarrassment if you can gauge your chances before you even speak to her